That Used to Be Me
by miaajohanna
Summary: When a drug investigation brings Erin Lindsay to a young girl in a situation a lot like the one Erin grew up in, she can't help but feel like it's her duty to help her out of it. But without the support of her team and the girl refusing to accept Erin's help, will she be able to save her before it's too late? (A Chicago PD story)
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, guys! Since my last story stopped getting interest, I decided to start a new once! I'm really excited about this one and have a lot of things planned for it. This is mainly going to be about Erin and her past, with a lot of Linstead involved. So, if you guys like it, please leave me a comment letting me know! I really appreciate it, and it motivates me to publish the next chapters sooner. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! **

"Morning, sunshine," Jay teased Erin as she slowly made her way into the Intelligence room. The bags under her eyes were impossible to miss and her typical greeting smile was replaced by a look of stoicism, both results of the difficult case they had just wrapped the previous night.

Too exhausted to come up with a witty remark, Erin ignored Halstead and headed straight for the break room to pour herself a cup of coffee. Once the caffeine had made its way into her system, she felt slightly more energized and began making her way over to her desk. Before she even had a chance to sit down, Voight strode into the room, walking purposefully toward the whiteboard at the front.

"This is Henry Jacobs," Voight began with his signature rasp, pointing at the picture of a smiling young man displayed on the board. "He was found dead this morning in his dorm room from a suspected drug overdose. And these," he continued gesturing toward the other photos, "are Alicia Cione, Jenny Smith, and Paul Fields. They have all been pronounced dead within the last 48 hours of drug overdoses. At first, it seemed like your typical college kid, not realizing how much he or she could handle, and taking too much Ecstasy as a result. But their autopsies showed something weird – PMMA, instead of the typical MDMA. This substitute makes these pills far more toxic than regular Ecstasy, causing them to be extremely deadly. So, it's our job to figure out where these pills are coming from before any more kids start dying. Got it?"

Everyone nodded their heads in unison, ready to get to work. When kids were involved, it always made the cases feel more urgent. Even now, when it was a bunch of college students participating in illegal activity, there was an unspoken understanding that kids are supposed to make mistakes. And it was the team's job to correct those mistakes so that they could then go on to live long, productive lives.

"Ok, I want Ruzek and Atwater at Chicago City College, talking to anyone that knew these kids. Get as much information on this drug as possible. Dawson, I want you to reach out to your CI's and see if anyone's heard anything. Olinsky and I will go talk to the parents, and Halstead and Lindsay, I want you guys here in case we get any tips over the phone.

Within minutes, everyone had left, leaving only Jay, Erin, and Nadia behind.

"I can't believe we got put on desk duty," Jay groaned.

"Oh, relax," Erin responded. "It won't be that bad. Besides you've got me here to keep you company."

"Now if only that one weren't here and we'd have the place all to ourselves…" he said suggestively, nodding his head over to where Nadia sat speaking quietly into the phone.

"Shut up," Erin laughed, playfully hitting him on the shoulder. "Come on, let's get started."

"This is ridiculous. We've been up here for over an hour now and accomplished absolutely nothing! No one is going to call us with any tips, because no one knows a damn thing about where these drugs are coming from!" Jay whined.

Erin turned to look at her partner. He was right; they'd gotten no farther in their investigation and sitting in this office did not make it feel like they were helping at all with the case. She trusted Voight, she really did, but she would be lying if she said she didn't want to be out there doing something active.

Before Erin had a chance to respond to Halstead, Nadia's soft voice broke the silence. "Platt wants you two downstairs. She says there's someone down there who claims to have a lead on the case."

Erin and Jay shared a confused glance and headed downstairs. Platt directed them into a small office, where they found a girl who didn't look to be any older than sixteen sitting on the edge of the couch. Her clothes were wrinkled and dirty, and she looked almost sickly, as if she hadn't eaten a proper meal in weeks. She jumped to her feet as soon as the detectives entered the room and looked down at the floor sheepishly. Recognizing the girl's unease, Erin approached her slowly, with Jay following her lead.

"Hello. My name is Detective Lindsay and this is Detective Halstead. We were told you might have some information about the recent overdoses of the college students?" Erin ended her statement as a question, inviting the girl to speak.

She pushed her hair behind her ears and then looked up at the two detectives standing in front of her. "Yeah, hi. Uh, my name's um Maddie," she began, every word delivered carefully, as if she was terrified of saying the wrong thing. Erin nodded, encouraging her to continue.

"I know about the drugs that have been killing the college kids. I mean I know where the supply is coming from and stuff…" she trailed off, leaving Jay and Erin looking at her expectantly.

After realizing she wasn't going to continue, Jay stepped forward. "Ok, so are you going to tell us then so we can do something about it?"

Erin glared at Jay, not pleased with his overly direct response.

"It's just, I need to know that you guys won't take down everyone involved. If I tell you who the people in charge are, can you promise me that you won't arrest everyone? Like, the lower-level dealers, you can leave them out of it, right?

Erin paused, thinking carefully about what to say next. "Sweetie, this drug is really dangerous, and it's our job to make sure that it comes off the streets, and stays off the streets. So, we need to punish the people who are leading the whole operation. But if there is someone specific you are looking to protect, someone who is only minorly involved, I'm sure we could figure something out."

Maddie's eyes shifted nervously from Erin to Jay and then back to Erin. It was clear that she was conflicted about what she was about to say. She sighed before finally speaking again. "Jake Stevens. That's who I need to know won't be arrested if I tell you everything."


	2. Chapter 2

"Jake Stevens," Erin repeated, pulling out her notepad to jot the name down. "Got it."

"I don't know too much, but I do know that they have a shipment coming in today at the warehouse on Allen Ave," Maddie continued hesitantly. "It's supposed to come in at around 10 tonight. All the top members should be there."

Jay glanced down at his watch and saw that it was already 6:00. "I'll go call the others so we can start preparing," he said to Erin as he stood up to leave the room.

Erin nodded her head and watched him walk out, leaving her alone with Maddie. There was something about her, something that she couldn't quite place, that made her want to know more about her story. Maybe it was the fact that she clearly was involved with the people running this drug ring, and yet she also wanted to put an end to it. Or maybe it was the fact that her nervousness and uncertainty coupled with her obvious lack of being properly cared for made Erin worry about where she came from. Regardless, Erin was beginning to feel invested, and she wanted answers.

"This kid that you want to protect," Erin began. "If he's involved, why did you come to us to shut it down?"

Maddie paused, not sure if she should even answer Erin's question.

"Just because I like the guy, doesn't mean I have to support everything he does, " she said defensively. "People are dying from this stuff, and I'm not okay with that."

Erin nodded, understanding completely.

"So, now that you have the information you need, can I go?" Maddie asked, eying the door anxiously. "Someone's expecting me and I can't be late."

"Is this someone you're talking about Jake?"

Maddie's hesitancy to answer made it pretty clear Erin's intuition was correct. Nonetheless, she still tried to avoid the question. "That's not important. Just make sure nothing happens to him. I'm gonna go now."

"Wait!" Erin stopped her before she had a chance to make it out the door. "Take my card. If you ever need help for any reason, you call that number, okay?"

Maddie took the card from Erin's hand and looked it over. And then without another word, she left the station, leaving Erin alone with all of her unanswered questions.

At 9:30, the Intelligence Unit pulled up a street down from the warehouse, so that they were out of its sight. Olinsky and Ruzek were situated on top of one of the buildings, using binoculars to keep an eye on the outside of the warehouse. Once they spotted any action, the rest of the team would immediately move over to the warehouse and hopefully put a stop to this whole drug ring. But until then, it was just a waiting game.

"Pretty weird with that girl today, don't you think?" Lindsay asked Halstead. "I mean she wants to bust these guys, but then she's hell bent on protecting one of them? It just doesn't make any sense."

"I mean, I guess. But we got our info and that's what matters at the end of the day. Besides, he's probably just her boyfriend or something. No one understands teenagers anyways," Halstead shrugged it off, clearly not very interested in the girl's motives.

But Lindsay wasn't satisfied. There was something off about this girl and her connection to this boy, and she was determined to figure it out.

Moments later, Ruzek's voice came over their earpieces, "we got a big white truck pulling up to the warehouse. They're bringing it into the garage now."

"Ok everyone, let's move!" Voight ordered his team.

Within seconds, everyone was driving over to the warehouse. Once they were all parked, they jumped out of their cars, guns in hand. Dawson and Atwater split up to go around the back, and Voight, Halstead, and Lindsay headed straight toward the garage. They walked around the side of the building until they found a small door leading inside. After sharing a look with his team to ensure they were prepared, Halstead busted the door open and charged into the room.

"Chicago PD! Hands up!"

The truck that had just pulled into the garage was now surrounded by people, all working to remove the drugs from the back. Some did exactly as Halstead ordered, instantly raising their hands in the air in surrender. Others took off instinctively, attempting to make it out without being caught. But with Dawson and Atwater quickly joining the rest of the team in the garage, they were easily able to put everyone in the room in cuffs.

Back at the station, Voight walked up to one of the men he had just arrested.

"Are you Jake Stevens?"

The man looked up at Voight questioningly, unsure why he was being singled out.

"Yeah."

"Come with me."

Voight led Stevens to the entrance of the station and uncuffed him roughly.

"You're free to go," Voight informed him, cutting right to the point without any explanation.

"What? Are you serious?" Stevens asked in disbelief.

"Don't question it. Just go."

Stevens looked at Voight one last time to make sure he was being serious and then quickly made his out the door, wondering why he of all people had just been released.


	3. Chapter 3

The sound of Erin's phone ringing instantly brought her out of her deep sleep. She rolled onto her side to look at the time on her alarm clock, groaning as she saw the illuminated numbers indicating it was 1:48 in the morning. Her hand scanned over her nightstand, until it finally came in contact with her phone. Without even bothering to look at the number or caller ID, she pressed the phone up to her ear.

"Hello?" she asked into the phone, her voice failing to mask her annoyance at being woken up.

"Hi. Um, it's Maddie. You gave me your card the other day at the police station," the girl at the other end of the call began nervously. She paused, waiting for Erin to make the connection, but Erin was still half-asleep and so her mind wasn't fully processing everything she was hearing.

"I'm sorry. This was a bad idea. I shouldn't have called," Maddie spoke again, instantly regretting her decision to call Lindsay. She was just about to hang up when Erin suddenly understood who was calling.

"No, wait!" Erin shouted into the phone, now fully awake. "I remember. What do you need?"

There was a pause, as Maddie hesitated, still unsure if she could trust this detective she barely knew.

"I uh… I sort of got in a fight with someone," she began slowly. "And now I don't have anywhere to stay, and I just don't really know what to do."

Without a moment's hesitation, Erin asked, "Where are you?"

"At the corner of Baker St. and Main."

"Ok, don't go anywhere. I'm on my way."

Erin jumped out of bed and quickly threw on a pair of jeans before grabbing a coat and her keys and heading out the door. She drove quickly through the streets of Chicago, not adhering to the speed limits for fear of Maddie changing her mind and leaving before she got there. Erin had definitely not been expecting to get a call from her so soon, but she was extremely happy that she had reached out to her for help. Erin knew there was more to the story than Maddie was letting on, but she would rather have some information than none at all. As soon as she reached Main Street, she began driving slower, scanning both sides of the sidewalk for any movement. The streets were mostly empty, just a few people here and there. But there was no sign of a teenage girl out on her own. Thoughts of worry and disappointment started circling around in Erin's mind. _What if she thought she had made a mistake and left? What if something bad had happened to her?_ Before Erin had a chance to run through anymore 'what if' scenarios in her head, she saw a slumped figure leaning against the brick wall of a small convenience store. The figure was wearing a hood that was obscuring his or her face, but Erin was hopeful that it was Maddie. So, she quickly parked her car in the first spot she could find and hurried over to the person.

"Maddie?" Erin called out softly as she walked up to the person.

The figure turned their head toward Erin and pulled down their hood, revealing their face. Erin sighed in relief upon realizing that it was in fact Maddie. But now that her hood was down, Erin could see that her face was wearing the effects of the fight she had mentioned on the phone earlier. Her bottom lip was split and bruises were beginning to form around her eyes. And that was just what Erin could see in the dimly lit alleyway.

"Maddie, are you okay?" Erin asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It was nothing. I just didn't know where to go, so I called you."

"I'm glad you did," Erin replied honestly. She bent down to help Maddie to her feet. Maddie groaned and grabbed her side in response to the sudden movement.

"I'm gonna bring you to the hospital to get looked at," Erin said noticing the pained expression on her face.

"No, please don't. I'm really fine, I swear," Maddie pleaded.

"We just need to go to make sure nothing is broken. It won't be long I promise."

Maddie eyes shifted to her feet. She knew she should go to a hospital, but she didn't want to have to answer anyone's questions about what had happened to her. In the end the pain won out, and she agreed to go with Erin. Slowly, they walked over to Erin's car, with Maddie leaning heavily on Erin. The car ride there was silent, for which Maddie was appreciative. Most people would have used this time to question Maddie. There was so much that Erin didn't understand – who Maddie had gotten into a fight with, why Maddie said she didn't have anywhere else to go, and why Maddie had trusted Erin enough to call her for help. But Erin wasn't most people; she had been the one sitting in the passenger seat before. Back when she was only 14 and had gotten into a huge fight with Charlie, it had been her that had needed someone to help get her out, and she had turned to Voight. So, knowing that when it was her she didn't want the questions, she decided not to bother Maddie with them. It didn't mean she wasn't going to try to get some answers, it just meant that she wasn't going to try to get them just yet.


	4. Chapter 4

**Because I got so many nice reviews, I decided to update again today! I really appreciate all the follows, favorites, and reviews, so please keep them coming! This chapter is probably not 100% true to what would happen in this sort of situation, so please forgive me for whatever is not realistic. I hope you all enjoy!**

It had been a little over an hour since Erin had arrived at the hospital with Maddie. Since then, Erin had been stuck in the waiting room, while Maddie was being checked over by a doctor. She hadn't expected it to take this long, and she was beginning to grow increasingly worried as more time passed.

"Family of Madison Reinhart?"

Erin stood up immediately upon hearing the doctor call out Maddie's name. "That would be me."

The doctor walked over toward her and asked her to come into the hallway with him. She followed his orders, weaving her way through the crowded waiting room. Once they were out of earshot of everyone else, the doctor finally spoke.

"Now are you her mother?"

"Oh, no, sir. My name is Detective Lindsey," she stated, flashing him her badge. "I'm just helping her out."

"I see. Ok, well I am only supposed to speak to family, but because you are a detective, I can give you some details. Ms. Reinhart claims she was recently in a fight, which would explain the bruises on her face and the split lip. She also has extensive bruising on her torso, as well as finger marks on her wrists and neck. The pain she was experiencing on her left side is due to a cracked rib, although it should heal just fine. What worries me, however, is that there is evidence of more dated injuries that have not yet healed. For example, she has several bruises that are quite faded and scratches that have almost healed. In addition, her record shows that she has been admitted to this hospital eight times within the last year."

Erin's heart dropped in her chest upon receiving all of this new information. It's not that she was surprised to learn that Maddie was being abused by someone, it was that she was really hoping that that wasn't the case. She wanted to believe that Maddie's situation wasn't as bad as her instincts made her think. Unfortunately, it seemed as though her gut feeling had been right all along.

"Thank you, doctor. Do you have a number for her parents, so that I can notify them?"

"Of course. Her father is not listed on her personal file here, but her mother's cell phone number is 637-832-8824."

"Great, thank you so much for all your help." Erin shook the doctor's hand before turning around to walk outside. Once she had left the hospital's doors, she pulled out her phone and dialed the number he had given her. The phone rang several times, with no one picking up on the other end. Once it had gone through to voicemail, Erin started to leave a message.

"Hello. This is Detective Lindsay of the Chicago Police Department speaking. I have your daughter, Madison, here at Chicago Medical Center. She says she was involved in a fight, so I brought her here. She is ok, just being treated for some minor injuries. As soon as you get this message, please come meet us here. My number is 473-821-9794. Thanks."

Erin placed her phone back into her pocket and walked back into the hospital, headed straight toward the room Maddie was being kept.

"Hey, there," she greeted Maddie as soon as she stepped into her room. "How you holding up?"

"Fine," Maddie replied. "I just want to get out of here."

"You'll be out of here in no time, don't worry. I just called your mom and as soon as she comes to sign you out, you're free to go."

"You called my mom?" Maddie shouted angrily. "Why would you do that? I haven't even seen her in over three weeks! She's not going to come here to get me!"

Erin hadn't been expecting the phone call to upset Maddie. She had just done what she thought was necessary.

"I'm sorry," Erin began apologizing. "I didn't mean to upset you, but notifying the guardian of a patient is just protocol. Your mom was the only person listed, so I had to call her."

"You don't understand. She's not really my guardian. Well, technically she is my mother, but she's never acted like one. She had me when she was sixteen and she didn't even know who the father was. Since then her life has revolved around alcohol, drugs, and men, pretty much anything but me. I don't even live with her anymore."

"Look, I get it, and I know it sucks, but she is still listed as your legal guardian, so I didn't really have a choice."

"Don't tell me you understand, because you don't. You're a cop! What would you know about going to bed hungry every night or sleeping without a roof over your head?" Maddie contested.

Erin didn't respond right away. Instead, she moved from the doorway she had been leaning on and walked over to the seat by Maddie's bed. She sat down in the chair and looked Maddie directly in the eyes.

"I know it may seem like my life is great now, and it is. I have a great job, amazing friends, and a nice home. But believe me, I did not have any of that growing up. My childhood was pretty rough. My dad got locked up when I was six and I never heard from him again. My mom was an alcoholic and drug addict who decided the only thing I was good for was getting her her next fix. Around the time I turned thirteen I started making an effort to avoid my house, so I spent a lot of time with some pretty bad people. I was a mess and I did a lot of things that I'm not proud of. Thankfully, someone saw a better future for me, and so he took me into his home. With his help, I was able to turn my life around completely. And now here I am. So yes, I may have a pretty good life at the moment, but I do understand what it is like to have your childhood taken away from you and to be left to fend for yourself in this often overwhelming city."

Maddie wasn't sure what to say. She was shocked by what Erin had just told her. _How could she have once been like her and now be a successful cop? How did she get out?_

Erin took Maddie's silence as an indication that she wasn't going to argue anymore. And now that she had shared more than enough about her own past, she figured it was her turn to ask some questions.

"I hope now you understand that I want to help you because I've been where you are, and I know that there is a better way. I can help you make a better life for yourself, but I need you to want it for yourself. And I need you to help me by telling me the truth. So let's start with this "fight." What really happened tonight, Maddie?"


	5. Chapter 5

Maddie took a deep breath and let her eyes drift down to her hands resting on her lap. As much as she didn't want to open up to another person, especially a cop, she was beginning to feel like her current situation was hopeless. And maybe Erin was exactly what she needed to find a new sense of hope.

"The guy that I asked you to leave out of it, Jake Stevens," Maddie looked up at Erin as she nodded in remembrance, "he's my boyfriend."

"Maddie, he's 23, and you're what, 15?"

"16," Maddie corrected. "And I know what you're thinking, but it's not that simple. It didn't even start out that way in the beginning. Like I said before, my dad was never in the picture and my mom was a total deadbeat. By the time I was 15 she was rarely at the house, and she could never be bothered to buy groceries or pay the bills. I started spending more and more time on the streets, and that's where I met Jake. I told him about my situation and he started letting me crash with him. At first I would repay him by doing his dirty work for him. He made all his money working for that drug ring, and I would help him find customers and distribute the product. As time went on, I would spend more and more time at his place surrounded by all his friends. I started getting wrapped up in things I didn't really want anything to do with, but it was worth it, you know? To have a steady source of food and a place to sleep at night, it made doing all that stuff seem okay. Anyways, shortly after I turned 16, Jake started looking at me differently. And he decided that he wanted to have a relationship, so I went with it. He was never the nicest guy, but once we started dating he got really… rough," Maddie paused and looked up at Erin, tears brimming in her eyes. "It was clear that he was the dominant one in the relationship and so I always did whatever he wanted. If I ever tried to disagree or say no, he would hit me and force me to do it anyways. So, eventually I stopped putting up a fight. It was just easier that way."

Erin's heart was breaking as Maddie explained her situation. It was all too familiar for her. And as much as she wanted to tell Maddie that she needed to leave and everything would work itself out, she knew better than anyone that life does not always work like that.

"The last couple of months he's been getting angry a lot more. I think his crew is having financial problems or whatever. But when he's pissed off at someone or just mad at the world in general he always takes it out on me. So, last night when he came home he just lost it. I mean he was glad that he hadn't gotten locked up, but at the same time pretty much his entire crew did so his business is going to take a huge hit. He was so, so mad," she said quietly, her mind taking her back to that house, his fist connecting with her face over and over again, his mouth spewing venomous words at her, and his eyes burning with a hatred stronger than Maddie had ever seen before."

The tears were falling freely down her cheeks now.

The terrified look in Maddie's eyes fueled Erin's desire to get her out of there. She hated seeing her like this. She hated that Maddie was being physically and emotionally abused and no one was doing anything to help her. She hated that Maddie understood that what he was doing to her was wrong, but she also felt like there was nothing she could do about it. But most of all, she hated that looking at Maddie felt a lot like looking at her fifteen-year-old self.

"Maddie, I know that right now it feels like you need Jake for your survival, but trust me you are stronger than that, and you deserve better. I promise you I will do whatever it takes to get you out of there and to somewhere that is safe.

Because of Erin, Maddie was finally starting to feel that sense of hope that she had been searching for for so long.

"For now, you can come home with me and we will go from there, ok?"

Maddie nodded in agreement, but then she suddenly froze and her eyes grew wide.

"Who the hell are you?" an older woman shouted storming into the hospital room.

Erin shot up out of her chair and turned around to face the woman. "My name is Erin Lindsay and I am a detective with the CPD," she spoke calmly, her voice not showing any fear or intimidation by this woman's anger.

"Well I'm her mother and she didn't do anything wrong so you can leave now. We don't need the police getting involved in our business and starting problems for us, do we now Maddie?" she turned to her daughter lying silently in the bed.

She looked up at Erin ashamed by her mother's entrance, but gave no response.

"Ma'am, I can assure you that I am not here to cause any trouble. I want to help your daughter, not hurt her."

"Of course you do," she spit back sarcastically. "But we don't need anybody's help, so you need to leave now."

As much as Erin wanted to stay and protect Maddie, she knew she couldn't. Her mother was still her legal guardian and so there was nothing Erin could do to stop Maddie from going home with her. So Erin slowly walked past the older woman and over toward the door. But before she left, she turned in the doorway and made eye contact with Maddie one last time as she held her hand up to her ear in the shape of a phone. Maddie nodded slowly, just enough so that Erin knew she had received her message. And with that Erin walked straight out of the hospital and sat in her car. Her apartment was east of the hospital, but she started driving west as soon as she left the parking lot. Her mind was racing and she knew she wasn't going to be able to fall asleep tonight. She needed to talk to someone, and there was someone particular she had in mind.


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm so sorry about the delayed update! Finals are coming up, so I've just been really stressed out over school lately. Hopefully, you'll all enjoy this chapter though! Please let me know what you think!**

Erin slowly approached the door of Halstead's apartment and took a deep breath before knocking twice. She tapped her foot impatiently as she listened for any movement coming from inside the apartment. When no response came, she knocked again, slightly louder than before. Moments later, the door creaked open revealing a half-asleep Halstead standing on the other side.

"Erin?" he questioned aloud in confusion, attempting to rub the sleep from his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

Erin could see how exhausted he was, and it was clear that she had just woken him up. She instantly regretted her decision to come.

"I'm sorry. I just… never mind, it's not important. I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry."

Before Erin could even take a step away from the door, Halstead gently grabbed her arm and pulled her back toward him.

"Hey, don't go. Talk to me." His eyes were pleading with her to stay, to open up to him for once and let him help her. As hard as it was for her to open up to someone, she knew that she couldn't just forget about tonight's events. So, she followed Halstead into his apartment.

"Do you want anything to drink?" he asked, trying to make her comfortable.

"No, thanks. I'm good," she replied as she made her way over to the living room.

Jay was right behind her and the two settled down on the couch. The air was silent, with neither of them speaking at first. But Jay didn't mind, he knew Erin would talk when she was ready.

"Do you remember the girl that came by the station the other day?" she began tentatively, the sound of her voice breaking the silence.

"Yeah, Maddie, right?" Erin nodded.

"That day, when she came to the station, I knew instantly that she needed help. I could see it in her eyes, the way she looked at us with this sense of hope. And then when she started talking about this Jake kid, I knew something was up. I mean, she came to us because she knew that this drug ring needed to be stopped, and yet she was hell bent on protecting one of the dealers. So anyways, after you left, I gave her my card. I didn't know how else to help, so I just wanted her to know that I would be there to help her, if she ever wanted it. I don't know what I was expecting, but I definitely wasn't expecting her to call me so soon."

Jay raised his head to make eye contact with Erin upon hearing this new information. Erin hadn't told him she'd give the girl her card, and she certainly hadn't told him that she had reached out to her for help. He held his gaze with Erin, urging her to continue.

"She called me tonight in a panic, saying she didn't have anywhere to go. So I picked her up by some alley downtown and she was a mess. She was completely covered in bruises, and she could barely walk, she was in so much pain. Reluctantly, I got her to agree to let me take her to the hospital to get looked at. While she was being taken care of, her doctor told me that she has been admitted to this hospital numerous times within the last year, although CPS never did any sort of investigation. When I finally got her talking, she told me Jake is her boyfriend. He's got her locked in an abusive relationship and her parents aren't around to look after her," Erin paused, her breathing shaky. "It all just felt too familiar, Jay. It was like I was talking to myself as a teenager," she whispered, her eyes now brimming with tears.

Jay moved closer to her on the couch, wrapping an arm protectively over her shoulder and pulling her closer to him. She leaned into his chest and looked up into his eyes. Somehow just looking at his eyes made her feel safe. She was always so private and protective of her emotions around other people, but when she was around Jay, it was easier to talk about her past. He never made her feel judged or looked down upon. So she continued.

"I know I've told you bits and pieces about my past, but there's also a lot I haven't talked about. Obviously, you know about Charlie now. We dated for a while. He gave me a place to stay when my mom checked out on me and so I felt like I owed him. He got me into drugs so I would fit in better with his crew, and he would use me to do some of his dirty work. But soon enough, it escalated and he started making sexual advances toward me. I didn't know how to respond. I was just a kid, he was so much older than me, and if I left him then I would have no one. There was no way a fourteen-year old like me was going to survive on her own in Chicago. So I stayed there, and I let him do whatever he wanted to me. By that point I had given up on myself. I was convinced I wasn't going anywhere and I wasn't worth anything. But then I met Voight…" her voice trailed off and she smiled slightly.

"He saw something in me, something no one else did. And he made me realize that I deserved better. So after a particularly rough night with Charlie, I ran away from his house in the middle of the night and called Voight. He brought me straight to his house and told me that I was a part of his family now. I can never thank him enough for what he did for me. Without him, I probably would have been dead by now. I certainly wouldn't be here with you right now. Which is why I wanted so desperately to help Maddie get out of there. I know she feels hopeless and doesn't believe that there is a better life out there waiting for her. But I know that if I can just get her a fresh start, she will finally get the life that she deserves. And I was so close." Erin paused, the tears beginning to slide down her cheeks despite her best attempts at holding them in.

"She was finally starting to trust me, and then her mom showed up and kicked me out. And there was nothing I could do, because legally she's still her guardian, so I just had to leave her there alone." The guilt that was building up inside her suddenly became overwhelming.

"I left her alone with her mom and now she's just going to end up back with Jake. I couldn't help her, Jay. She needed me, and I let her down." She let the words escape between her sobs and her body shook with feelings of devastation.

"Hey, look at me," Jay spoke in a soothing voice as he rubbed circles into her back. "None of this is your fault. You did everything that you could for now, and as soon as you can you will find a way to get her out of there, because you're Erin Lindsay. You're the strongest and most determined person I know, and Maddie is lucky to have you fighting for her. She's going to be okay, Erin. You'll get her out of there in no time, okay?"

Erin didn't respond. Her sobbing had subsided, but her mind was still too clouded to think rationally. She wanted nothing more than for Jay to be right, but she wasn't convinced he would be.

"C'mon, you need to get some sleep," Jay observed as he slowly rose from the couch. He helped Erin to her feet and then guided her to his bedroom. After offering her one of his t-shirts and changing into some sweats himself, the two of them climbed into his bed. He pulled her in tightly against her chest, trying his best to make her feel safe. Every time Erin shared more about her past with him, his heart ached for her. It wasn't fair. But this time, his break broke even more than before. Hearing that Charlie took advantage of her both emotionally and sexually enraged him. He wanted nothing more than to make all her pain go away, but for now all he could do was be there for her. So that's what he was trying to do.

"Thank you, Jay," she whispered, as her breathing evened out and her mind drifted asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**I know I've done a horrible job at updating this fic, and I really am so sorry. I have a couple weeks before I have to head back to school, so I should have some more time for writing. For anyone still reading this, I hope you enjoy! And happy holidays to everyone!**

Sunlight seeped into the room, causing Erin to roll over in her sleep in an attempt at shielding her eyes from the brightness. As she did so, her arm was met with something hard, in place of the usual softness of her mattress. Confused and disoriented, she opened her eyes and took in her surroundings. The walls were painted a dark olive green and the framed picture of her with the Voights that hung directly across from her bed was replaced by a small television set resting on top of a short dresser. But it wasn't until she turned to her left and saw a figure lying in bed next to her, that her memories of last night came flooding back. _Jay_. A smile washed over her face at the realization that she had spent the night in his arms. It had taken her by surprise how perfect it had all felt. Having him pull her body into his and then drape his arm protectively across her stomach. She wanted nothing more than to wake up with him by her side every morning, but she knew she couldn't have that. Voight would never allow it, and even though she was sure she had never wanted anything so desperately before in her life, Voight was the only family she had, and his opinion meant everything to her. The sound of Jay's alarm going off broke off Erin's train of thought and caused Jay to stir from his sleep.

"Good morning," she half-whispered, unable to stop a smile from spreading across her lips.

"Morning," Jay replied warmly, turning his body so that they were lying face to face. Erin wasn't the only one who wanted a relationship. Ever since the moment Jay had first laid eyes on Erin Lindsay, he knew she was something special. And over the past several months as he got to know her better, he was certain he was falling in love with his partner.

It was Jay who finally brought an end to the peaceful silence.

"We should probably get up and start getting ready for work."

Erin nodded in agreement as she rose out of bed and began collecting her things.

"I need to go back to my apartment and change into some clean clothes before I head to the station, so I'll just meet you there." She began walking toward the door of his bedroom, but paused right before turning the doorknob.

"Thank you, Jay, for being here; it means everything."

Jay looked up and locked his eyes with hers. He wanted to tell her that he could always be there for her like this, that he wanted to hold her in his arms while she slept every night. But he couldn't. So instead he just said, "that's what partners are for."

She gave him a small smile in return and then turned around and walked right out of his bedroom. And just like that, he was alone in his apartment again, and it was just like any other morning.

When Erin walked upstairs after entering the district, she realized she was the first to arrive. Not including Voight of course, considering he practically lived at the precinct now that Justin wasn't around anymore. Erin decided to use the opportunity to talk to Voight about Maddie and hopefully get some advice as to what her next move should be.

"Come in!" Voight called out after Erin had knocked on his office door.

"Hey," she greeted the man whom she viewed as a father figure, while taking a seat in the empty chair in front of his desk.

"What's up, kid?"

"Do you remember how we got that information about the drug bust, but in return we had to let that one kid go?"

Voight nodded, signaling for Erin to continue.

"Well the girl that gave me the tip is named Maddie and the guy is her boyfriend."

"Ok, but I'm not sure how this is relevant to anything right now…" Voight trailed off. He wasn't one for dwelling on past cases, and certainly not ones that they had successfully taken care of.

"When she came into the station, I handed her my card before she left. I just had this gut feeling that she needed help. And then the night after the bust, she called me in a panic. I went and picked her up downtown and brought her straight to the hospital, because she was in pretty bad shape. After I got her talking, I learned that her boyfriend, Jake, has been abusing her for a long time now and she wants out, but she needs help. I was going to bring her back to my apartment, but then her mom showed up and made me leave. And her mom and dad are both deadbeats, so I know she's just going to end up right back with Jake. But she called me from a payphone so I don't know her number and I don't know where she lives, so I can't get in contact with her and I just really don't know what to do. She needs help, Voight. I have to help her."

Voight waited a moment before responding, taking in everything Erin had just told him. He understood her desire to help this kid out. He had done the same for her and a couple of other kids during his time as a cop. But he also knew that it was more personal for her because she knew exactly where this girl was coming from.

"I understand that you're just looking out for this girl and you want to give her a better life. But if she doesn't come to you for that help, then there's really nothing you can do. You gave her your card, made it clear that you're willing to offer help if she wants it, now all you can do is wait. She has your number. She will call again if that's what she wants. But if she doesn't, then you have to accept that."

"But what if something happens to her before she has a chance to ask for help?" Erin asked, her voice rising. "Jake beat the crap out of her after the bust, just because he was pissed he was losing all that business. If he finds out that she was talking to a cop, he's gonna realize that she was the one who ratted them out in the first place! And if that happens, he might kill her! I can't let that happen; I have to find her."

"You don't know that he's going to find out. And besides, we have a new case we have to focus on. I know it's hard Erin, but you're going to have to let this one go for now."

"But Voight, I –"

"I said drop it," Voight's voice cut her off. His voice was firm but stern, making it clear he wasn't budging on the issue. "C'mon, everyone's here now and we have a case to attend to."


End file.
